Lesson 1331: I want the school to see the fear I'm trying so hard to hide.
Duration:75 minutes
Topic Introduction:
For children and adolescents with disruptive mood disorder (DMDD), school is often the place where emotions are most easily out of control and where they are least understood. Classrooms, classmates, homework, exams, peer gazes, and the teacher's tone—what others see as "daily life"—can feel like a constant alarm bell for you: fear of being called on, fear of having your mistakes seen, fear of being laughed at by classmates, fear of the teacher's impatience, fear of forgetting everything when you're nervous. So you learn to hide your fears in various ways: feigning indifference, pretending not to care, pretending to be busy, deliberately talking, deliberately maintaining a "nothing's wrong" demeanor. But your body betrays you—sweaty palms, a racing heart, a tightening stomach, dizziness, restlessness. This course will help you see that you are not a "problem student" at school, but someone struggling to adapt to a highly stimulating environment. We will analyze typical sources of fear in school settings, the cost of hiding fear, the vicious cycle of emotional outbursts and being "misunderstood" as deliberate mischief, and practice how to express "I am actually scared" in a safer way. The course will combine the gentle support of 24 kinds of Eastern healing teas and 40 kinds of Chinese food therapy soups, the steady practice of Chinese calligraphy (clerical script), and the calm gaze of "Mandala is not about drawing something, but about observing," guiding you step by step so that the school has the opportunity to truly see you, rather than just seeing the surface of your behavior.
▲ AI Interaction: Write down "The three things I fear most at school"“
First, acknowledge one thing in your heart: you are not "indifferent," you just rarely have the opportunity to safely express your fears.
- ① Write down the three situations you fear most at school, such as: being suddenly called on to answer a question, being teased by classmates, being criticized by a teacher in public, the group performance in physical education class, and being isolated in social situations.
- ② Write a sentence for each scenario: "The way I tried to act" and "A sentence of my true feelings".
- ③ Choose a fear that you most hope your teacher or counselor can understand, and imagine the first thing you would say to them.
Click the button below to practice with AI and express the fears you try so hard to hide at school in a safer way.
○ Relaxation after school stress: Music therapy
Choose a quiet, not overly sad, and rhythmically stable piece of music for yourself "after school," and use it as a transitional track from "school mode" back to "self mode" every day.
While the music is playing, close your eyes and mentally recall the scene that scared you the most today. You don't need to go into detail; just focus on the image. Then, silently repeat a sentence to yourself while the music plays:
“"I have tried my best today. Being afraid does not mean I am not serious."”
Let this melody help you slowly release the tension trapped in your body, and let you know that you are not just someone who "does well in school," but also a life that is allowed to be afraid and deserves to be settled.
○ Eastern Healing Tea: Sweet Wheat and Jujube Stress-Relieving Tea
Recommended reasons:The combination of licorice, floating wheat, and red dates is often seen as a symbol of "relieving tension and calming anxiety," making it especially suitable after a long day of being "seen/evaluated/compared" during campus life.
usage:Steep 1 slice of licorice root, 5g of floating wheat, and 2 red dates (cut open) in 90–95°C hot water for 8 minutes. When drinking, you can whisper, "This cup is for the me who was struggling to hold on in school." Let each sip feel like it's catching you, rather than asking you to "behave better."
○ Corn, Carrot, and Pork Rib Soup (Chinese Dietary Therapy - Soup)
School life brings not only psychological stress, but also long-term physical exhaustion: lack of sleep, irregular eating habits, and stress that prevents one from eating or leads to overeating.
Corn, carrot, and pork rib soup symbolizes "steady energy" and the feeling of being cared for, as if "someone has prepared a meal for you."
When you pick up a bowl of hot soup, imagine this: even if no one at school sees your fear, at least for this moment, a piece of food is saying to you—
“"You deserve to be taken care of, not just be expected to."”
You don't have to get better immediately. Just allow yourself to be in this bowl and believe a little bit: you are not alone in bearing all of this.
Calm down
Suitable for after school
Healing Recipes
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Psychological Mandala (Viewing)
Psychological Healing: Psychological Mandala - 82 Thoughts
A mandala is not about drawing something, but about observing it.
Imagine you're in the classroom, and you always feel like everyone's eyes are on you, so you don't even dare to breathe too loudly.
Open a mandala in a quiet place and do only one thing: look at it.
Look at the center point, like your true self at school—fearful, nervous, and sensitive, but also trying to sit in that chair.
Looking at the outer rings of patterns, they resemble different scenarios: roll call, exams, corridors, lunch, and classmates looking at each other.
As you watch, slowly tell yourself:
“"I can look at my fear first, instead of hiding it immediately."”
You don't need to be brave right away. Just being a little honest in front of the mandala is already protecting the you that is enveloped by fear.
○ Chinese Calligraphy - Clerical Script (Write down "My True Self at School")
At school, you may often force yourself to play a seemingly normal, relaxed, and indifferent role.
Practicing clerical script gives you the opportunity to reserve a space on paper for "the real you."
A place where you can be honest about your fears without being blamed.
- Sentence writing:
- At school, I also have the right to be afraid.
- My fear at school also deserves to be seen.
- Writing Tips:
- After writing each sentence, pause and ask yourself:
“"If teachers or school counselors were willing to see the real me, what would I most want them to know?"”
What you write is not just sentences, but a signal that you long to be seen.
○ Letting the school see "the hidden part": Art therapy exercises
When you can't directly say "I'm scared at school," let the visuals say a little bit first.
Drawing is not an exam, but an outlet for yourself where you won't be graded.
I. Two versions of myself in the classroom
- Draw two small portraits: the left one is "how others see me," and the right one is "how I truly feel."
- Write labels on the left: for example, "looks aloof", "constantly playing with a pen", "easily distracted".
- Write your true feelings on the right: for example, "I'm actually afraid of being called on," "My heart is beating very fast," and "My stomach keeps shrinking."
- This is an honest version for yourself; you don't need to rate it for anyone else.
II. Campus Safety Map
- Draw a simple floor plan of the school on paper: classrooms, corridors, toilets, playground, library, etc.
- Use colors to mark the "most stressful places" and the "places where you can breathe a little."
- Think about it: Is there a corner that can serve as a safe haven for you to briefly linger before your emotions explode?
- This map can serve as a starting point for your future communication with your tutor or parents.
Please log in before submitting your drawings and feelings.
○ 1331. The Desire to Be Seen by the School: Log Guidance Suggestions
① Write down the three fears you most want to hide at school, and what situations they are related to.
② Choose one of these sentences and write down what you most hope your teacher or tutor will hear, for example: "When you ask me a question in front of the whole class, I'm actually so nervous that I can't hear you clearly."“
③ Complete the sentence: "I hope the school sees not just my behavior, but..."“
④ Write a sentence to affirm yourself: "Even if others misunderstand that I'm making a fuss, I am actually someone who is trying hard to overcome my fear."“
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You are not a "problem student"; you are a soul struggling to adapt to a high-pressure environment. May this lesson be a small signal you send to the school:
One day, they might see—you're not indifferent, you're just too afraid.
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