Lesson 1338: What I need is more professional guidance, not more criticism.
Duration:75 minutes
Topic Introduction:
For children and adolescents with disruptive mood disorder (DMDD), what's most suffocating isn't just the repeated outbursts, but the accusations, humiliation, and denial that follow them:
“"Why are you doing this again?", "You're doing it on purpose!", "You're just not improving." However, what you truly need is never more criticism, but rather a sufficiently professional person willing to understand why your brain and emotions are so difficult to calm down, willing to teach you concrete, practiceable steps, instead of just telling you "to control yourself." This course will help you distinguish: how blame exacerbates shame, self-attack, and feelings of helplessness, and how professional support—including psychologists, child psychiatrists, school counselors, trained parents, and caregivers—can help your nervous system gradually learn to stabilize. Together, we will outline the support you are entitled to: having your illness mechanisms explained, receiving clear coping plans, and being allowed to practice and reflect repeatedly, instead of simply being labeled a "problem student" or "immature." The course combines the gentle nourishment of 24 types of Eastern healing teas, 40 kinds of Chinese food therapy soups, the steady rhythm of Chinese calligraphy, and the calming gaze of "a mandala is not about drawing something, but about observing," helping you remember: you deserve professional support, not being blamed to the point of doubting your life.
▲ AI Interaction: Write down "The Kind of Companionship I Really Need"“
You've been criticized too much, but rarely seriously asked, "What kind of help do you actually need?" This time, we'll start from your needs.
- ① Think back to three sentences that you most often hear from adults or peers as accusations (e.g., "Are you deliberately causing trouble?", "How can you be so insensible?", "Can't you be normal like everyone else?").
- ② For each criticism, write a sentence: "If it were professional companionship, I would hope they would say something like this..."“
For example: "I see you're struggling, let's think of a solution together";
“"You're not bad, you just need more practice with your brain and emotions."” - ③ Write down three qualities of your ideal professional companion: Listening? Not jumping to conclusions? Understanding emotional mechanisms? Planning together?
- ④ Choose one trait and write a sentence you would like to say to a potential future companion: "If you are willing to treat me this way, I am willing to slowly change."“
Click the button below to work with AI to organize your expectations for "professional companionship," ensuring these needs are first recognized and respected in your mind.
○ From Blame to Being Seen: Music Therapy
Choose a piece of music that makes you feel "understood and supported." It doesn't have to be exciting; just something that allows you to breathe slowly.
For the first 30 seconds, close your eyes and imagine a professional and gentle adult sitting next to you, not forcing you to change immediately, but just listening attentively to what you have to say.
Slowly repeat in your mind:
“I deserve to be understood and helped, not just scolded.”
Let music be an invisible companion, reminding you that there are people in the world who are willing to stand by your side professionally.
○ Eastern Healing Tea - Chrysanthemum and Goji Berry Vision-Soothing Drink
Recommended reasons:Chrysanthemums symbolize clarity and tranquility, while goji berries nourish the body, representing a gradual transition from a "confused perspective of being criticized" to a "clear perspective of being understood." This is a suitable small ritual before or after your consultation with a professional companion.
usage:Steep 3 chrysanthemum flowers and 6 goji berries in hot water (85–90°C) for 5 minutes. While drinking, silently say to yourself:
“I am learning to see myself more clearly, instead of just looking at myself with a blaming eye.”
○ Lotus Seed and Lily Bulb Soup for Calming the Mind (Chinese Dietary Therapy - Soup)
Lotus seeds and lilies symbolize "calming the mind, soothing emotions, and restoring peace of mind." In an environment where you are constantly criticized, your brain is accustomed to being in "emergency defense mode," making it difficult to believe that anyone will truly stand by your side.
This soup is not a magic potion, but a symbol:
There is a kind of care that is not about controlling you, but about making you more stable, more at ease, and more empowered to face emotional training.
While drinking soup, you can whisper to yourself:
“"I deserve to find professional support who are willing to take things slowly with me."”
Let every warm bite remind you: you don't have to always bear it all alone.
Suitable for emotional training period
Symbolizing being accompanied by gentleness
Healing Recipes
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Psychological Mandala (Viewing)
Psychological Healing: Psychological Mandala - 89 Thoughts
A mandala is not about drawing something, but about observing it.
Imagine the Mandala Center as a quiet room with a professional and gentle person who will not rush to blame you, but will invite you to speak slowly.
The layers of texture on the outer ring are like the accusations, shouts, sarcasm, and stares of the past that once surrounded you, but now you are just "watching" and no longer drawn into them.
As you gaze at the center, whisper to yourself:
“"What I need is companionship and understanding, not more criticism."”
As your gaze slowly moves along the outer edge, remind yourself:
“Those voices hurt me, but I’m looking for different voices.”
What the mandala teaches you is to distinguish, through observation, which are the old voices that hurt and which are the new companions that are worth getting close to.
○ Chinese calligraphy - Clerical script (Write "I need professional companionship")
The broad and stable structure and powerful horizontal strokes of clerical script are suitable for expressing needs you previously dared not voice. Today, write down a weighty line for the wish to "be properly helped."
- Sentence writing:
- What I need is professional support, not more criticism.
- I need professional support, not more blame.
- Writing Tips:
- When writing the word "need," I deliberately slowed down, making each stroke solid on the paper, allowing my body to feel it:
“"Acknowledging one's own needs is not weakness, but maturity."”
After writing it, look at the whole sentence and say to yourself:
“I have the right to find someone who understands me, rather than continuing to bear all the criticism alone.”
○ From Blame to Companionship: Art Therapy Exercise
Through the images, you can see more clearly how those accusations surrounded you in the past, and how you gradually moved closer to safer and more professional companionship.
I. Blame Storms and Safe Islands
- Draw a circle of "storm clouds" on a piece of paper, and write down the accusations you often hear in the clouds (you can use symbols instead of specific words to protect yourself).
- Draw a small island in the center of the storm, and write down the words "professional support," "understanding," "planning," "practice," and "review" on it.
- Draw a few lines around the island to represent places where you might access professional support in the future: school counseling rooms, mental health centers, family therapy, online mental health resources, etc.
II. A Glimpse of the Ideal Companion
- Draw a simplified human silhouette, without details, just the outline.
- Write down your expectations of a professional companion around the outline: their speaking style, eye contact, patience in listening to you, and how they give you opportunities to practice.
- Finally, I wrote a sentence for myself next to the picture: "I am moving closer to these companions."“
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○ 1338. I need professional guidance: journaling suggestions
① Recall the most frequent criticisms you've heard in your life, and write down one or two sentences that hurt you the most (no need to read them word for word, just the gist).
② Write down the impact of these accusations on you: Are you more inclined to change or more inclined to give up on yourself? Are you more composed or more prone to exploding?
③ Complete the sentence: "If I had professional support, what I would most like them to do for me is..." (e.g., understand my illness, plan my practice steps, and review the lessons with me).
④ Write a promise to yourself: "I will try my best to get closer to those who are willing to help me professionally, and stop taking all accusations as the truth."“
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You are not a "problem" that is criticized; you are someone who deserves to be seen and supported by professionals.
May this lesson remind you:
When you start fighting for understanding and help instead of passively accepting blame...
Your life trajectory has quietly begun to shift in a different direction.
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