Lesson 1332: If someone were willing to understand my difficulties beforehand, I would have an easier time.
Duration:75 minutes
Topic Introduction:
For children and adolescents with disruptive mood disorder (DMDD), the heaviest part isn't the outburst itself, but the moments leading up to it when they feel like they're about to break down but no one understands. Others see the sudden anger, impulsiveness, yelling, or breakdown, but they often don't know that before these emotional explosions, you've already endured hours or even days of stress alone: sensory overload, classroom tension, social uncertainty, sleep deprivation, being misunderstood, being pressured, and being told to control yourself immediately. When those around you only see the "behavior" and ignore the "arduous process," you naturally feel lonely, ashamed, wronged, and powerless. This course will guide you to understand that your difficulties are not "being dramatic" or "being too sensitive," but rather that your nervous system struggles to function stably under high pressure. We will break down the physical signals, psychological steps, and trigger chains before an outburst and practice how to let those around you know about your stress levels earlier. This course combines the gentle support of 24 types of Eastern healing teas and 40 kinds of Chinese food therapy soups, the steady practice of writing in clerical script, and the calming gaze of "a mandala is not about drawing something, but about looking at it," to teach you to say to the world in a gentler but clearer way: If you could understand me even a little bit in advance, I would feel much better.
▲ AI Interaction: Write Your "Advance Understanding Instruction Manual"“
You don't need to express yourself perfectly; simply writing down "things others should know in advance" already reduces the possibility of misunderstandings.
- ① Write down three things that would make things much easier for me if others had known beforehand, for example:
“"I get uncomfortable very quickly when the sound is loud."
“"Being rushed makes my mind go blank."
“"I need some time to prepare." - ② Write a "key reminder" that you want others to know: for example, "I'm not being slow on purpose, I just need more time to switch."
- ③ Choose the most important one and imagine the version you would say to someone you trust.
Click the button below to create your own "Advance Understanding Manual" with the help of AI.
○ Emotional buffering to prevent outbursts: Music therapy
When you feel overwhelmed, about to lose your temper, or about to run away, music can be "a voice that understands you in advance".
Choose a piece of music with a steady, unhurried rhythm, and let it serve as a "buffer ringtone" when your emotions are about to become overwhelming.
For the first 15 seconds of listening, do only one thing: exhale slowly and deeply.
Feel your body giving you some space, so you don't have to be cornered before you explode.
Reminder:“I’m not making a scene; I’m trying my best not to let myself be crushed.”
○ Eastern Healing Tea - Tangerine Peel and Poria Soothing Drink
Recommended reasons:Dried tangerine peel regulates qi, and poria cocos calms the mind, making it suitable for those days when "too many things are piling up and your head is about to explode." It reminds you: some pressure isn't that you can't handle it, but that you're already carrying too much.
usage:Steep 2g of dried tangerine peel and 4g of Poria cocos in 90°C hot water for 6 minutes. Take a deep breath while drinking, letting the aroma wash away the tension you can't express.
○ Lotus Seed and Lily Bulb Soup for Clearing the Heart (Chinese Dietary Therapy - Soup)
When a person is in a state of "on the verge of collapse" for a long time, their body will be exhausted.
Lotus seeds and lilies symbolize "clearing the mind and relieving worries," helping you gradually emerge from a constantly tense state.
This bowl of soup represents a message: you deserve to be treated gently, not told to "bear with it a little longer".
In the moment of drinking soup, allow yourself to pause all explanations and defenses, and simply be at ease.
Soothe the mind
Preventing outbreaks
Healing Recipes
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Psychological Mandala (Viewing)
Psychological Healing: Psychological Mandala - 83 Thoughts
No need to draw, just watch.
Imagine that the lines on the outer edge of each circle represent something that others could understand in advance.
First lap: You need a slower pace;
Second lap: You are particularly sensitive to sound;
Third circle: You have difficulty controlling your reactions when under pressure;
Fourth lap: You didn't do it on purpose.
When viewing a mandala, let each circle remind you:
“"If other people could see this, I would feel much more at ease."”
Mandalas help you practice in your mind: understanding is built up layer by layer, and you don't need to explain everything at once.
○ Chinese calligraphy - Clerical script (expressing the "desire to be understood")
The stable structure of clerical script can help you regain your rhythm when your emotions are fluctuating.
Writing is not about performance, but a way to "slow down."
- Sentence writing:
- I hope to be understood in advance.
- Understanding me earlier makes life easier.
- Writing Tips:
- After writing each word, pause for a second and ask yourself:
“"If someone were willing to understand me even a little bit, what would I most want them to know?"”
Let words carry those feelings that you can't express directly.
○ Visual Expression with Prior Understanding: Art Therapy Exercises
When you feel that others misunderstand you, visuals can show you the "unseen difficulties".
I. Pressure Layers
- Draw a circle on a piece of paper, and then add four more circles around it.
- Write down one step you went through before the outbreak for each level:
- For example: Loud voice → Being rushed → Headache starts → Emotions are about to overflow.
- This image helps you make it clear to others that your outburst wasn't sudden, but rather the culmination of a long period of accumulation.
II. Understanding Maps
- Draw a map showing what others need to know in advance.
- For example: a slower language is needed, clearer instructions are needed, space is needed, and preparation time is needed.
- Write these things into the diagram and make it a tool for your communication.
Please log in before submitting your drawings and feelings.
○ 1332. The Desire to Understand in Advance: Log Guidance Suggestions
① Write down three things that would make things much easier for me if others knew beforehand.
② Describe one of your behaviors that is most often misunderstood, and what is the real difficulty behind it?
③ Complete the sentence: "What I most want to be seen is...".
④ Write a sentence to affirm yourself: "My difficulties deserve to be understood, and I deserve to have it easier."“
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You're not difficult to deal with, you're just often misunderstood.
May this lesson be a beginning—to help others understand you sooner, and to make it easier for you to live in your own world.
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